


Samurai Jack (and some ocs) as vines and tiktoks

by Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant



Category: Samurai Jack (Cartoon)
Genre: I apologize in advance, the first few vines are all by the same guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24181585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant/pseuds/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant
Summary: I'm just making this while trying to figure out exactly how the story will go in my next fanfic. (edit: added a few more vines and tiktoks)
Kudos: 2





	Samurai Jack (and some ocs) as vines and tiktoks

Sen: I want to know how tall you are. You're six foot, right?

Demongo: No, five twelve.

Sen: Boy, that's-(pauses) (thinks internally) I need to calm down, I almost hit him...

\---

Ashi: (gets hit)

Aku: Had enough, yet?

Ashi: (chuckles as she floats off the ground, boss music playing)

Aku: (gasps)

\---

(in the haunted house episode)

Jack: A lot of people say this house is haunted, but I never- (starts floating in the air and struggling)

Sen: My god... HOW are you doing that?!

\---

Aku: (coughs)

(achievement unlocked: Do stuff)

\---

Scotsman: (crying) Please... I want to go home!

Aku: (pointing a gun to his head) Say the line.

Scotsman: No, wait.... They're magically delicious!

\---

Makoto: So everybody just signed the new tre-

(sees someone wrote FIRST in all caps)

Makoto: Who just wrote first?!

Aku: (smiles smuggly, while the others are like "Are you kidding me, Aku?" "Really?")

\---

Sen: Yeah, can I get a cheeseburger? That's all.

Drivethrough guy: Would you like cheese on that?

Sen: (to the side) Do I want cheese on my burger? (sarcastically) No, actually. Make sure there's no meat on my cheeseburger either!

\---

Scaramouche: Where'd you get all this money? Selling drugs? (laughs)

Demongo: (internally) He knows! (pulls out a gun)

\---

Makoto: Hey! You're not supposed to be in here! Leave or I'll make you-

Jack: (crouches down and dissapears)

Makoto: What the hell?! Where did he go?

\---

Aku: (goes into the kingdom) I claim this house mine!

The Emperor: Uh, no. I live here.

Aku: Oooh... I already called the guys.

\---

Makoto: Ooh, that makes me so mad, I'm gonna... fly to Antartica and shoot a penguin!

(Yuki is listenting in the other room, slightly concerned)

\---

Sen: And then I was like: 'But then I was wrong!'

Scotsman: Ahaha! (theres a clapping noise) That was so funny!

Sen: (internally) Wait, he's not using his hands! Why isn't he using his hands?!

\---

(sometime in the fifty years jack didn't have his sword)

Bounty hunter: Three million dollars or your sister's dead, you hear me?!

Jack: Oh, that's a bit too high. You have a discount or something?

\---

Scaramouche: (going crazy on the flute while he's in a car)

\---

Demongo: I'm in this dumbass castle with all these fake ass people!

Yuki: Hey.

Demongo: Hey. (out of earshot) Fucking bitch.

\---

Jack and Sen: (get captured)

Scaramouche: Hahaha! They got you, suckers!

Jack: Hey, fuck you!

Scaramouche: Fucking losers!

\---

Jack: (referring to Ashi) Dude, she's not just my girlfriend, alright? She's by best friend.

Sen: Oh my gods! (gags)

\---

(on a ship)

Scotsman: CAPTAIN!

Jack: Y-yeah?

Scotsman: LOOK!

(Aku somehow found them)

Jack: OH FUCK! NONONONONO! NO! DUDE, WE HAVE SO MUCH SHIT, HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!!!

\---

Demongo: Die, die! Dead! But then you get revived by the power of necromancy!

\---

Aku: What?

Ashi: You're not my dad! Go away, you ugly ass fucking noodle head!

\---

Demongo: Dude. Imagine being... fucking gay.

Scaracmouche: (thinks about it for a moment, and smiles)

Demongo: DUDE.

\---

Jack: (does some crazy stunt)

Sen: Oh my gods. Oh my gods he on X Games mode.

\---

Scaramouche: I'm John Cena! (plays the John Cena theme by playing two flutes by blowing air out of his nose)

\---

Ashi: I spilled lipstick in your valentino bag.

High Priestess: You spilled wh-whuwh- LIPSTICK in my Valentino white bag?!

\---

Jack right after he lost his sword: (crying on the toilet while brushing his hair)

\---

Sen: (does a weird waddle)

Jack: (facepalms)

\---

High Priestess: (sees Aku) Guys, get out of the way! It's the lord!

\---

X-9: Oh, don't worry about my dog, man. She doesn't bite.

Jack: Are you gonna bite me?

Lulu: Oh no, I'm definately gonna bite you, man.

Jack: He lying?

Lulu: He lying, I'm gonna bite you.

\---

Aku: (at all of the resistance) Look at all those chickens!

\---

Sen: Is it coming to me? (gets a bong) Yes, I can do it myself this time! (blows on it, and the bong water comes out)

\---

Literally anyone: (screaming and running away)

Aku: Why are you running?! WHY are you running?!

\---

Sen: Look at the buns on that guy!

(Jack is lying on the ground with a bunch of hamburger buns on him)

Scotsman: This is the comedy police, the jokes too funny!

Sen: (pulling out a gun) I'm not going back to jail!

\---

Aku: Go to your room!

Ashi: I hate you!

Aku: ...you hate me?

Ashi: Yeah!

Aku: Is it because I'm gay?

Ashi: Dad, what-

Aku: My own daughter is homophobic!

\---

Sen: Mister spider, why was it funny to bite me? (steps on the spider) Is it still funny, mister spider?

\---

Makoto: Me and Yuki are about to go vandalize some stuff!

Yuki: You sure about this?

Makoto: Yeah, man! Just go!

Yuki: (writes =16 next to the 4x4 on a truck)

Makoto and Yuki: (giggling as they run away)

\---

(music playing)

Jack: No, no. Turn that off.

Song: Imma let him eat my ass like a cupcake-

Jack: nOOOOO-

\---

Sen: What do you intend to testify to today?

Lulu: (sniffs the microphone)

\---

Scaramouche: And to all a good night!

(plays Silent night terribly on the flute)

\---

(Jack at a club)

Jack: Is this music? I can't get enough of that- that sweet music.

\---

Sen: So, how is everything?

Makoto: Actually, the chicken is a little dry.

Sen: (spits onto it) How about now?

\---

Scotsman: (hits a blunt, and passes it to Sen)

Sen: Thank you. (hits the blunt) I am now high.

\---

Aku: No off-topic questions.

Aku: Because I don't want to.

Aku: No-n-no.

Aku: Permission denied.

Aku: That's an off-topic question, next.

Aku: You have been stopped.

\---

Ashi: And not to mention, dad, what a big nose you have!

Aku: Okay.

Ashi: Save some air for me! God damn, dad!

\---

Jack: (to Ashi) Hey! I think you're really cool! I like you a lot! Maybe we can hang out or something.

\---

Yuki: So I was cleaning my glasses the other day and I snapped the motherfuckers in half. That made me realize that I'm strong as hell. So if you need a bodyguard, I'm here. Yuki's bodyguarding service. She can't really fight that good, but she's there for you.

\---

Sen: I don't have bad hand writing. I have my own fucking font. Bitch.

\---

(X-9 and Lulu are in the car)

X-9: Lulu! (buckles her seatbelt) Buckle up! It's the law!

\---

(Jack is in a lake and chilling under a big rock)

Sen: Jack! Get out out from under the rocks! He can't here me! He can't here me he has goggles on! Jack get out from under the rocks! JACK IT'S NOT SAFE!!!!

\---

Sen: Big leaf, little leaf, whatever it is, I've smoked it. (walks away)

(Jack and the Scotsman look on in horror)

\---

Aku: HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP! Her sister was a witch, right?! And what was her sister?! A princess! The wicked witch of the east, bro!

Makoto: (laughing her ass off)

Aku: AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG?!

\---

Sen: (points to Demongo) Oh my gosh, guys?! What is that?!

Jack: (runs over to Demongo and decks him)

\---

Sen: Jack, what's for dinner?

Ashi: Jack, we're hungry!

Sen: Jack, we're hungry!

Ashi: Jack, what's for dinner?!

Jack: (turns around and screams)

\---

Sen: (playing piano)

Scaramouche: (dancing)

\---

Demongo: Go suck a dick, suck a dick, suck a motherfucking dick!

Scaramouche: Suck a diiiiick, suck a huge or small dick!

\---

Aku: Welcome back to Aku hotline, sir, you are live.

Jack: Yeah, Aku fucking su-

(Aku hangs up on him)

\---

Beeetle Robot: (gets destroyed by Jack)

Other robots: Rest in peace, my friend. We'll rise up in your honor, killing all humans.

\---

(during the fifty years Jack didn't have his sword)

Jack: Elmer's glue. Strong enough to hold anything together, except for my deteriorating relationship with my sister. Nothing could hold that together.

\---

Makoto: (partying, but notices Demongo doing a line of cocaine and Scaramouche humping a plant, and is uncomfortable.)

\---

Jack: Are you putting up Christmas lights?

Scotsman: Yeah.

Jack: It's November.

Scotsman: And?

Jack: ...Well do you need any help, or-

\---  
This is all for now. Sorry if it's a bit OOC, It was hard thinking of characters that would fit.


End file.
